


Terms (And Conditions) of Endearment

by JadeTigress



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Also Black Hat doesn't know how to process emotions, Also Flug is just RIDICULOUSLY tired, FLAGRANT abuse of pet names, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, fluff central, this is just blatant indulgent fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 06:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11202669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeTigress/pseuds/JadeTigress
Summary: When Flug gets tired, his verbal filter tends to fall through.This can lead to many problems from snapping back when he's not supposed to, to forgetting to elaborate and explain his thoughts.Oh, and also he tends to call people pet names.(He regrets that last one.)





	Terms (And Conditions) of Endearment

**Author's Note:**

> God do you ever just get an idea for fluff and then explode? Because that's me.
> 
> Here's this self-indulgent one shot about Flug just,, abusing pet names.
> 
> .......I'll just leave this here.

Flug knew he had a problem with not sleeping. He'd been a terrible insomniac ever since he was a teenager, and it had only gotten worse through college. Now, it had reached an apex after he'd begun working for Black Hat. A combination of the stress, workload, and terror anytime he even half thought Black Hat was coming into his lab really wasn't the best atmosphere to induce sleep.

So it just seemed like a natural progression of his escalating insomnia to just... not sleep. When he did, it was always power naps or because he literally passed out.

Because of this, he often existed in a state of half-consciousness. Luckily, he was always able to function relatively well even though he was sleep-deprived and loopy, so it didn't seem to be a problem. In fact, he was more productive then he'd ever been, despite being tired to an almost impressive degree.

But there was one problem. When he got especially sleepy, his verbal filter tended to fail him.

Sometimes he got bolder, making snide remarks, but always caught himself when Black Hat would glare. Sometimes he forgot to explain things, slipping into lingo that made Dementia squint in confusion and roll her eyes.

And sometimes he got sappy. Like, really sappy. _Embarrassingly sappy._

It had been a trait he'd had forever, but since he never really interacted with people he'd kind of forgotten he'd had it, and never really noticed when it happened.

Luckily, 5.0.5. tended to receive the brunt of _that_ sleepy Flug, and 5.0.5. was, obviously, the nicest one in that household.

One night, around four in the morning, Flug was forced to stop working when he realized the room was starting to tilt while he was examining the machine in front of him. He jerked upright. He shook his head and tried to focus back on his work in front of him, but when he wobbled when he tried to lean forward, he stopped and frowned.

He tried desperately to trace back through his memories to remember the last time he'd had a nights sleep at all.

When he hit three days prior with no luck, he decided that maybe it was time to go to bed.

Black Hat was actually away for some important meeting, and wouldn't be back for another day, so maybe he _would_ actually be able to get some real rest. He set out to crash, heading to his room.

Or at least that was the plan. After fumbling with the hallway lights (which were apparently _shut off_ ) and stumbling confused down several strange wings later, Flug was lost in his own home.

He squinted at a portrait he was 95% sure he'd never seen in his life, but when he tilted his head it kinda looked like the one in the second living room. Was he in the second living room? He checked over each shoulder. Nope, still in the hall.

He made a noise eerily similar to a zombie from one of those bad thrillers and rubbed at his eyes roughly.

When he heard a stomping to his left, he jerked to attention and spun.

There at the end of the hallway that Flug could just barely make out in the dark was a looming blue shape.

“ _Fives!_ ” Flug shouted, heading off towards the shape, “I'm so glad to see you!”

The bear must have been patrolling the mansion. He seemed surprised, but pleasantly so, to see the scientist. He made a happy noise, delighted to see Flug walking towards him with open arms.

When Flug accidentally ran into another lamp (third one this night), he cursed and stumbled forward. He was caught by 5.0.5., who rushed forward to grab Flug before he went face-first into the ground. Flug chuckled slightly as he was wrapped into a fuzzy embrace.

“Thanks sweetie,” he mumbled, voice muffled. His face was still pressed into the bear's stomach and he brought his arms up to wrap around 5.0.5., snuggling into the embrace. 5.0.5. made surprised noise, before perking up and squeezing Flug tighter. This just made Flug laugh.

“You're just a sweetheart aren't ya,” he said (almost slurred). “I ever tell you just how happy I am you turned out nice? Because I am – happy that you're nice – ya big teddy bear.”

5.0.5. seemed elated, he gave Flug one last squeeze before pulling back to look at Flug. He tilted his head, flower swaying with the motion in a way that Flug found both hilarious and adorable.

“Hey bud,” he said, tilting his head along to match the angle of 5.0.5.'s, “You know why all the lights are out?”

The bear hummed, and made a motion towards the flower on its head. Flug squinted.

“Uhhh,” he said. 5.0.5. repeated the motion, drawing a line down from above his head towards the base of his skull. The metaphorical light bulb went off above Flug's bag.

“Black Hat shut them down?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

505 nodded.

“Why though?” He asked.

The bear shrugged.

Flug sighed, rolling his eyes. “I swear, it's like he forgets not everyone here has night vision.” He paused for a second, gears turning in his head as he squinted. He was the only one without night vision. “Wait.”

The bear patted him on the head, causing the bag to crinkle, in a way that read to Flug as 'you're cute.' Flug swatted at the hand childishly.

“Just because I'm not a demon or lizard or bear doesn't mean I don't have rights!” He said, stamping a foot. The bear just smiled, tilting its head, smile crinkling its eyes.

“I'm not cute! _You're_ cute!” He shouted, sharply pointing a finger accusingly. He regretted it when the motion made him dizzy, and the world started to tilt again. 5.0.5. caught him again as he stumbled, and he groaned into the bear's fur.

“Do you know what wing we're in?” He asked. “I need to get to bed before I pass out.”

In one sudden motion, Flug felt his feet get swept out from under him. He was so tired, he didn't even put up a fight as the bear scooped him up into his arms and began to head off down the hall.

“Thanks honey bun,” he mumbled, letting his head fall to the bear's soft chest. His eyes drooped. “You're just the best.”

The bear hummed. He might have just been humoring him.

“I'm serious, you're my favorite you know?” He whispered conspiratorially, eyes sliding shut.

5.0.5. just gave him a squeeze and made a turn down a hall. Suddenly his surroundings seemed more familiar.

“Sweetie bear,” he hummed, before dozing off.

5.0.5. must have dropped him off in his room without a hitch, because the next thing he knew he was blearily squinting at the light shining through his bedroom window.

 

* * *

 

This happened several times, Flug tiredly running into 5.0.5., be it late at night or early in the morning, and grinning dozily at his pure creation. It was a natural response to feel looking at the big, soft, cuddly bear, so Flug never considered maybe his sleep-deprivation was making him more affectionate than normal.

Often in the morning, 5.0.5. would hand him his coffee and he'd light up, patting the bear affectionately with a “thanks sweetheart.”

This morning, however, Flug entered the kitchen to the sound of shouting.

“Eww! Are you trying to poison me,” Dementia gagged, holding a mug of something at arms reach. She leaned back, eyeing it warily as if it were dangerous. “What is this?” She wrinkled her noise and stuck out her tongue through her snarl in disgust.

5.0.5., who looked haggard, whined weakly.

“ _Decaf?_ ” She asked, spinning to glare at the bear. “Eww! Why?”

Another whine. 5.0.5. sneakily tried to retrieve the mug from Dementia's outstretched hand, but when she spotted the movement she snatched it to her chest, suddenly defensive of it.

“Why would Black Hat say-? Wait, are you trying to say I can't have caffeine!? I'll have caffeine if I want caffeine!” She glared, stomping a foot.

The bear sighed heavily, flower drooping as Dementia drew back in preparation to hurl the mug against the nearest wall.

“Please stop yelling,” Flug muttered, stepping into the kitchen. His eyes were barely open, and he still wasn't fully awake. He was running off three hours of sleep (sadly a good night) and wasn't quite functional yet. He held his hands up to either side of his head, covering his ears through the bag.

He watched in confusion as Dementia paused and muttered... something, he couldn't decipher it. She turned towards 5.0.5. and said... something else, before lighting up and grabbing... something. Flug was still blinking blearily and didn't pay attention when Dementia poured something into the mug and ran over to Flug in delight.

“Hey Flug,” she practically sang in a way Flug would have found suspicious if he weren't currently falling asleep. “Good morning!”

“Thanks,” he muttered, moving to walk past her.

“You don't look so good!” She exclaimed in a sickly sweet voice, exaggerated expression of concern on her face. Her acting was wasted though, as Flug just blinked at her and didn't process it.

“Uhh?” He was still trying to make his way over to 5.0.5. to get his coffee. The bear was making a noise and waving his paws frantically, but Flug didn't take notice.

“Here, maybe some coffee will make you feel better,” she said, grinning widely and holding out the mug.

“Oh,” Flug said sluggishly, eyes leaving Dementia's face and focusing slowly on the offered mug. He blinked at it, pleasantly surprised the (perceived) goodwill coming from Dementia. “Oh wow, thanks darling.”

He took the mug from her hands before turning to grab a straw from another corner of the kitchen. He shuffled to the counter and plucked one out of the drawer, sticking it into the hot drink. He only looked up when he finally caught onto the oppressive silence that had settled over the kitchen. He looked up blearily, and stared in confusion at the other two.

Dementia stood still, arm still outstretched, eyes following Flug. Her mouth was slightly ajar, and she stared at Flug. He blinked, and wondered if there was something wrong with his bag.

5.0.5. was still waving his paws violently across the air in front of his chest in a 'no' motion, and had started to head over to Flug.

“What?” He asked to both of them at once, utterly confused. He felt like there was something going on (or perhaps several somethings) that his tired brain wasn't processing.

The sound of his voice broke the silence, and that was all it took for the ice that had frozen Dementia to break. She burst out laughing, retracting her arm to clutch at her stomach, and bent over as she was wracked by a high pitched giggle.

“Wha-?” Flug's mind was finally starting to defog, and he stared in confusion as Dementia continued to laugh hysterically.

5.0.5. finally reached him, and snatched the mug from his grasp roughly. Flug looked up to see the bear looking at Dementia in disdain, he wrinkled his nose and glared, before moving to pour the drink down the kitchen sink.

“Hey...” Flug reached yearningly out after the bear as he walked away. He watched as the coffee fell in the sink and dripped down the drain in anguish. “Why would you do that?” He asked in horror.

“Did you – ” Dementia finally spoke up, gasping. She rubbed at her eyes with one hand, where she was beginning to tear up due to her laughter. Her other hand clutched at her chest. Between gasps she continued. “Did you _actually –_ just call me – _darling?_ ”

“Did I?” Flug raised an eyebrow. He looked over to 5.0.5. in confusion. The bear was approaching with a different mug, straw already neatly poking over the rim. He gasped in delight and held out his hands as a fresh cup of coffee was deposited into his grasp.

“Oh my _god_ Flug – I didn't know – you were _sweet_ on me – ” she said, still catching her breath.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he said honestly. He took a sip of the coffee and sighed in delight. “Thanks Five,” he said. He patted the bear's arm and 5.0.5. smiled brightly.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Dementia had caught her breath, but was apparently still getting a kick out of the whole thing. “I forgot you're just a big ol' _sap_.”

Flug scowled. “I seriously don't-”

“How do you even survive as a villain? How do you even survive in _this house?_ ” Dementia asked, giggling.

“Hey, I can handle myself just as much as you.” Flug glared at her, crossing his arms over his chest, sloshing the coffee some.

He flinched when 5.0.5. patted his head, probably in an attempt to be comforting, but it only irritated Flug more. He pulled away, stomping a foot.

“Do you just sweet talk everyone into letting you go?” Dementia asked. It took a second for her own words to catch up to her, and when they did her eyes widened and she burst out into a second fit of hysterical laughter.

“Okay whatever,” Flug said, rolling his eyes. He looked over to where 5.0.5. was slouching over, flower drooping, at Flug's rebuttal. He sighed and moved back over to his position leaning against the counter, patting 5.0.5.'s arm again. The irritation faded and he just steeled himself to wait out until Dementia wore herself out.

Which might take a while, because apparently this was _hilarious_ to her.

She did a spin, holding her hands to her chest and throwing a pointed foot up behind her. She lowered her voice into a mocking rendition of Flug's and batted her eyelashes.

“Mister hero sir I _really_ didn't mean it, I _swear_. Do you think we could let this one slide, _honey?_ ” Her voice and expression cracked on the last word and she bent over, cackling.

“Very funny,” Flug said, glancing over to 5.0.5. in disdain. The bear however, was holding a hand to his mouth to cover his smile. “You too?” Flug asked, deadpan. 5.0.5. shrugged.

“Missus police officer, you're looking exceptionally stunning today,” Dementia said again with the same mocking voice. She stuck another pose, clapping her hands together and resting her cheek on them. She lowered her gaze and glanced up through her eyelashes. “Seriously, is that a new eye shadow _sweet-_ ” she gasped, smile breaking through, “ _sweetheart_.”

“Ha-ha.” Flug took another sip of his coffee. 5.0.5. was making a rumbling sound that approximated laughing. He gave the bear a sour look. “Traitor.”

Dementia moved again. This time, she shrugged her shoulders and clasped her hands. She brought her hands up to her chin, right below her pouting mouth, and widened her eyes. She blinked exaggeratedly a few times and jutted out a hip.

“I'm _so sorry_ Black Hat, it won't happen again. Please forgive me for being bad, just this time. _Pretty_ _please_ , Black Hat _ba – babe._ ” As the last word left her mouth she cackled loudly and reeled backwards. She leaned over to a nearby counter, letting her head fall to its surface as she gasped again, bring up a fist to pound at the counter in a fit of manic energy.

Flug stiffened, blood rushing to his face. The irritation surged back, mixed with embarrassment.

“Shut up Dementia!” He snapped, slamming his mug down onto the counter.

5.0.5. was holding both paws to his mouth now, eyes crinkled and darting from Dementia to Flug in amusement.

“ _Too-_ ” she started coughing from laughing too much, which only caused her to cackle more, and cough more. “ _Too real?_ ”

“Shut _up_!” He stomped a foot in irritation, and felt his face heat up. He'd say it was lucky nobody could see inside the bag, but he felt like they could tell anyway.

“ _Oh. My. God,_ ” Dementia lifted her head again and grinned open-mouthed at Flug, showing off canines. “And here I thought _I_ was the lovey-dovey one.”

“Okay, ha-ha, good one Dementia, Flug's sappy when he's tired, very funny, can we move on now?” He asked, gritting his teeth.

“Oh _absolutely not_ , I'm never letting you live this one down. _Ever_.” She finally caught her breath and opened her mouth to make another comment.

“One more word and I tell Black Hat what you did with his spare suit,” Flug said, voice dangerously even.

Dementia's mouth stayed open for a second, before clicking shut into a pout.

“Fair,” she replied, shrugging and glancing up and to the side. “Still though-” a devious smile sprung back up.

Flug raised an eyebrow and pointed at her with his mug.

“Fine,” she wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue. She sighed dramatically. “Well fine then, I guess I'll just go see if Black Hat's up – for completely unrelated purposes!” She said, pointed accusingly at Flug as he straightened up and moved as if to follow her. He settled back down and shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. She moved to leave.

“Hey wait,” he said, squinting and thinking back. “What did you do to that first cup?” He asked, finally comprehending.

“Oh,” she said, turning back around and grinning. “I put salt in it. Plus it was decaf.”

Flug gasped and stared in horror as she just shrugged and chuckled.

“I take back my term of endearment,” he said, clutching the mug of coffee to his chest protectively and hunching his shoulders, bristling. “You're evil.”

“I try,” she responded, grin widening and sticking out her tongue through her teeth impishly. “One of us has to be _darling_.”

“Hey-” he started, glaring again, but she made a quick exit, scampering out the door.

Flug pouted as he watched her leave. He raised the mug to sip again.

When he heard a rumbling next to him, he looked back over at 5.0.5.

“You know what?” He asked. “I don't think you're actually nice. I think it's all an act.”

The bear just grinned, flower perking, and rumbled more.

“See? Pure evil.”

 

* * *

 

One would think that after the Dementia Incident, Flug would have paid more attention to his verbal filter. One would be wrong. He did not.

It wasn't his fault, Black Hat Inc had been going through a particular rough spot. Sales weren't nearly as high as they should have been, and for some reason Black Hat had seemed particularly on edge. Flug had to clue why, but his boss had been harder on him than ever, working him to exhaustion. Something was obviously wrong and Flug thought it must have been connected to the falling sales, but Black Hat's pure anger and maliciousness seemed to be aimed almost solely towards Flug in every one of their interactions. And nowadays it seemed like overkill.

Honestly, before everything had gone to shit, Flug had actually thought he and Black Hat had been getting along well. His boss had stopped harassing him at every occasion, even stopped scaring him just for fun to see Flug flinch and scream.

Black Hat had been, dare he say it, nice to him.

He'd been getting more sleep, feeling more comfortable, had even been, dare he say it, _happy._

Now though, as previously stated, everything was shit. Flug was more sleep-deprived then he'd ever been _in his life_ , he was about to break down from exhaustion and Black Hat was _always angry._

Dementia even, as if in response to the sudden maliciousness from Black Hat, had been _exceptionally_ nice to him. She had begun actually _helping_ him in the lab with a concerned eye instead of breaking everything. One time she stood sentry, keeping an eye out for Black Hat while Flug took a twenty minute nap under his desk in the lab.

It really was desperate times.

By the time Flug finished his fourth invention in the string of sleepless inventions, he could honestly say he wasn't sure what was real and what his addled brain was making up. He wasn't even sure what day of the week it was, and he had to look out the window to confirm that it was, in fact, the daytime.

He had just delivered the gun to Black Hat, who examined it with a critical eye. Flug held his breath in anticipation. Dementia and 5.0.5. were hovering, like always (although now Dementia appeared to be hovering in concern instead of looking for a way to interfere like usual). Black Hat glared at the gun, tapping at the metal with a finger, and snarled.

“And what is _this_ cheap thing supposed to accomplish?” He asked, pinning his glare on Flug.

In any other occasion Flug would nervously try to explain the invention or try to appease Black Hat's anger, but as it was, Flug's tired brain couldn't work up the energy to be nervous. He blinked slowly and slumped in disappointment. Despite knowing better, he'd really hoped Black Hat would at least _try_ or _pretend_ to appreciate that Flug had almost killed himself (or at the very least driven himself insane) making this one.

“It uh,” he started, eloquently, “It should hypnotize whoever it's used on to take orders,” he finished, not bothering to try and embellish his words. Despite standing right in front of an angry Black Hat, a situation where he should be alert, his eyes were starting to droop.

“Should?” Black Hat snarled, waving the gun wildly. It almost struck Flug in the head, narrowly missing, no thanks to the delayed shuffle back from Flug that would have been too late anyway. “Does it work or doesn't it?”

“It should,” Flug muttered, pouting.

“ _Should?_ ” Black Hat repeated mockingly, glaring.

“Why can't you just believe in me,” Flug whined, rubbing at his face. He was far too gone to realize the reaction he was eliciting from Black Hat. The demon bristled, furious, while Flug remained oblivious to the danger. 5.0.5. made a concerned whine, and Dementia grimaced, the two of them trading looks.

“ _Believe in you_?” Black Hat snarled, one side of his mouth stretching higher than the other in a distorted mess of an expression that highlighted Black Hat's inhumanity. His fists clenched and he leaned forward towards Flug menacingly. “Maybe if your dimwitted ideas ever turned up decent inventions – no, if they even made usable inventions _half_ the time, I might consider believing in your capabilities. _Maybe_ if you could create anything worth selling at all, we wouldn't be in the current situation we are. Now, does it work or not.”

Flug let out a small puff of air in a irritated sigh. He watched as Black Hat began to disfigure his form, face pealing and razors poking through his skin, in an obvious attempt to intimidate him. When Flug didn't react, just stared at him deadpan, he got even more furious. His height grew, until he was towering over Flug and his voice distorted. His monocle shattered, and Flug just followed the glass pieces with his eyes as they fell to the floor, unimpressed.

“ _Does it work or-_ ”

“Yeah!” Flug cut in sharply and threw one hand into the air, waving it dismissively. He used the other to rub at his face some more to drive away the fog.

“ _Yeah?_ ” Black Hat mimicked mockingly.

“Yeah love, it works, can I leave now?” He leveled his gaze back on Black Hat, trying to show just how much he did not care at the moment. (Even if Black Hat said he couldn't, he was about to just leave and take a nap under his desk again.)

Flug was confused as silence fell over the room. It was as if someone had poured a cold bucket of water over Black Hat, all of his (exaggerated) fury seemed to extinguish at the drop of a pin. His features reverted suddenly, his face returned to normal and his height shrunk. The pieces of his monocle snapped back into place, and his one visible eye was staring wide-eyed at Flug.

Flug raised an eyebrow, confused. He didn't see how asking to leave would surprise Black Hat, even if it was unusually bold for Flug. He glanced over to where 5.0.5. and Dementia stood.

Dementia was staring at Flug as well, though Flug couldn't place what emotion she was trying to convey. Her mouth hung partially open. She had her hands held up to either side of her face, elbows stretched into the air, and feet spread wide. Shock maybe?

5.0.5. was caught between surprise and delight though, flower perking on his head. What did that mean?

Flug looked back to Black Hat, expression still the same one of confusion. Black Hat was still staring at him, and Flug tilted his head slightly. The motion seemed to snap Black Hat out of whatever revery he was in and he reeled back slightly away from Flug, as if scared to touch him.

“What did you say?” He asked. However the anger from before was gone and replaced with... disdain? No that wasn't quite right, but Flug was still falling asleep and ready to go take a nap so he didn't really care.

“I said it works. Can I go?” He repeated, crossing his arms.

“No at the beginning,” he said, making a shoeing gesture and leaning back further away.

Flug's expression fell to one of complete exasperation. He was confused and tired and Black Hat was looking at him with an expression he did not have the energy, nor the mental willpower, to decipher. Honestly he looked kind of pained, face pinched and eyes squinted, hands held defensively in front of him as if he expected Flug to take a swing at him or something.

“ _Yeah?_ ” Flug threw both hands up, shrugging.

“ _The other part,_ ” Black Hat's glare returned, and his eye flashed red, but yet not angry. Flug would almost say his face was darkening, but what with the way his mouth twisted up into a grimace, he dismissed the idea.

“Look I don't know what you're talking about. That's all I said? But the ray works and I'm about to fall asleep so I'm just going to leave now,” Flug replied, rolling his eyes.

“Now wait a second,” Black Hat straightened from his hunched back position, scowling at Flug again. He didn't distort his form though, and his voice didn't really have that much bite. He sounded almost embarrassed... or in pain. No, definitely in pain.

“What?” Flug asked, exasperated.

“Are you saying I'm lying?” He asked, eye flashing.

Flug just stared incredulously. His mouth hung open slightly, and he raised both hands to express his confusion.

“You... didn't even make a claim?” He responded.

Black Hat just leveled a look at him, still looking pained, and waited. Did he expect Flug to break and admit he was wrong or something?

When Flug just made another exasperated hand motion, Black Hat finally relented.

“Fine,” he said slowly, though he didn't remove his gaze from Flug. He closed his eyes and grimaced, as if bracing himself. Weird.“Good work doctor-”

Oh that explains it, Black Hat always looked pained when giving any sort of compliment. Why his boss had decided to suddenly be ( _kind of?)_ nice now, Flug didn't understand.

“-you can leave.”

“Finally,” Flug murmured. He moved to go, turning his back on Black Hat and facing Dementia and 5.0.5., who both stood by the door. Dementia was still staring at him, though her look of shock had morphed into humor. Her hands were still at either side of her face, but her mouth had shifted from an 'oh' to a wide grin. 5.0.5. still seemed about the same though.

A thought struck him, and he turned back around to face Black Hat.

“Wait don't you need me to explain-” he started, looking at his boss.

Black Hat startled at the movement, jumped, and actually hissed as Flug turned to face him again. The motion and sound cut Flug off, and he raised an eyebrow. He watched as Black Hat yanked his hand (from where it had apparently reached up to cover his face) to point at the door.

“ _Out!_ ” He hissed, bristling like a mad cat.

“But don't you need-”

“I'll figure it out!” He snarled at an unimpressed Flug. “Now leave! All of you!”

He shifted his glare to the other two, still hovering by the door. Dementia jumped as attention was directed at her, finally snapping out of her pose. She grinned widely, blew a kiss to Black Hat, winked at Flug, and ran out of the room. 5.0.5. flinched at the glare, but quickly recovered. He didn't quite dare a grin, but something was sparkling in his eyes as he followed Dementia out.

When Flug was the last one in the room, Black Hat seemed to take it as an extra offense against him.

“ _Out!_ ” He snapped again, jabbing his finger at the door.

“Okay, okay,” Flug muttered, holding his hands up in surrender. It probably wasn't the best idea to turn his back to Black Hat again, but he did, shrugging and walking out of the room.

When he exited the office, the door slammed shut behind him, pushed by an invisible force. The movement stirred the air, which gave Flug one last push forward, and he stumbled slightly as his shoes hit the floor of the hallway.

He straightened, taking a moment to think about where the nearest place to take a nap was.

His thoughts were _immediately_ interrupted as he was ambushed by Dementia, who had still been hiding just around the edge of the door. She grabbed him by the arm and yanked him away, hurtling down the hall and around the corner.

“Flug-bug, I _cannot_ believe you are still alive, I thought I lost you in there,” she said rapidly, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking. Her grin stretched across her entire face and her eyes sparkled.

“Huh?” He asked. He tried to steady himself, but he was already dizzy and Dementia shaking him did not help. When she released him suddenly, he almost fell down, only to have 5.0.5. steady him from his right side. Oh, apparently he'd been waiting too.

“I thought you were a goner,” Dementia continued dramatically. “ _Your_ life flashed before _my_ eyes.”

“Okay,” Flug sighed, exasperated, “Can someone explain to me, like, at a child's level of comprehension, what I did? Because apparently my mind up and broke.”

Dementia hopped gleefully, clasping her hands.

“You said the l-word, to Black Hat,” she stage-whispered, before giggling again.

“That's not – “ Flug sighed. “L-word?”

“L-l-l-” she let the sound trip on her tongue teasingly, “ _love_.”

Flug stared in disbelief. A wave of horror hit him, that woke him up instantly. Something twisted painfully in his stomach, and he wobbled.

“No I didn't,” he protested, but he felt his face heat up.

“Did too,” Dementia replied, pointing at him. “And oh my god I thought that was it. And I was just – g _oodbye Flug, rest in pieces_.” She held her hands to her face and snorted.

“I did not say that!” Flug held a hand to his face over the bag, like he had to cover the blush rapidly building there.

“Uh, yeah, sure did,” she said.

“Okay, I know I'm a little loopy but I did _not_ lose time and I _am not_ tired enough to say that I lo– “ he cut himself off, realizing that his voice had raised. He lowered it and continued, trying to calm down. “Okay, wait, what did I say exactly?”

“' _Yeah love it works,_ '” Dementia repeated in a mocking tone, and suddenly a wave of humor hit her, she giggled. “Jeez isn't this like, _exactly_ what I teased you for before.”

“Oh,” realization dawned on Flug, “oh I _called_ him love?”

“Yeah,” Dementia replied, “And I was scared before, but now that's just hilarious.”

Dementia grinned, eyes closed in delight. Flug sighed, leaning to the side where 5.0.5. supported his weight. He turned to look at the big bear, who was watching him and smiling gently.

“Like, I know said I was never gonna let you live this down before, but _now_ this is like, even bigger. I don't even have to – “

“Hey Fives, honey, remember how I said you were my favorite,” Flug said.

“Hey!” Dementia shouted, straightening. Flug smirked as he easily diverted her. She didn't even acknowledge the pet name.

The bear hummed in confirmation.

“It's true,” he said, before glancing at Dementia, then back at 5.0.5. and stage-whispering, “Don't tell Dementia.”

“ _Hey!_ ”

 

* * *

 

After the Black Hat Incident (which honestly could have referred to so many things), Flug was sure that there would be some sort of _something_ that happened afterwards. Some change in Black Hat's behavior, or the other bringing it up again to Flug. But nothing happened, it was as though the whole household had decided to ignore it (sans Dementia who occasionally gave him an exaggerated wink before whenever he was about to talk to Black Hat).

Which was fine with Flug. Every time he thought about it, he just got embarrassed with himself and blushed. It was different from when he'd slipped and used a term of endearment for Dementia, that had been embarrassing only because she'd teased him about it. This in and of itself made Flug sweat and heat up.

But Black Hat had apparently chosen to ignore the incident. The next time Flug had seen him, he'd been tense, conscious enough to be anxious after getting some rest. He'd expected Black Hat to berate him – either for the embarrassing slip or because, technically, he had lied about it to Black Hat's face _seconds_ after he'd done it. Even if he hadn't processed it at the time, Flug was ready to keel over instead of face Black Hat again.

However, the next time the two came face to face, Black Hat had been completely composed (if a little cold) and had congratulated the doctor. He'd said that the Hypnotizing Ray had been a resounding success, had even brought attention back to old devices and had boosted sales. Flug had been tense the entire time, waiting for some twist or a sudden shift in Black Hat's attitude, but it hadn't come. Instead, Black Hat had just nodded and left.

Flug was, to say the least, a little confused. Black Hat _never_ failed to let you know when he was angry or disapproving, but for some reason he'd decided to drop it. It couldn't be for Flug's sake, oh no, Black Hat would absolutely torment him before letting him off the hook.

Either way, Flug decided to move on, and watch his mouth a little more. It didn't work, but he at least tried.

It wasn't his fault, he never noticed when he did it.

It got the better of him again when Flug was running late. He threw on his lab coat while he rushed down the hall to the lab. He was supposed to be there already, and his only hope was that Black Hat hadn't yet arrived to inspect his work.

When he rushed through the door, stumbling and dropping the blueprints he'd been carrying, he grit his teeth in anxiety and darted a look around the lab. The tension left his body and he slumped as he spotted only 5.0.5., who waved happily from over by his lab desk. Black Hat was nowhere to be seen.

He bent over and scooped up the blueprints, before rushing over to desk. He threw the armful of sheets down to its surface, before turning to greet 5.0.5. The bear was wearing his maid outfit, which always made Flug smile in amusement, and presented a tray with a mug.

“You are just, the biggest life-saver Fives,” he said. “Seriously, we do not deserve you. Every morning, without fail, just – ahhh.”

The bear grinned widely, flower wiggling in happiness on his head as Flug waved a hand. Flug snatched the mug quickly and took a sip, sighing as the warm beverage helped drive away the remaining sleep from his mind.

He darted a look around the lab, still empty, before looking back at 5.0.5. and leaning forward conspiratorially.

“Thanks sweetheart,” he whispered. “Love you.”

5.0.5. grinned, eyes crinkling, and hummed.

Both of them were taken off guard as a loud crash sounded behind them. Flug spun, coffee spilling all over his desk, to face the entrance to the lab. His eyes widened as he saw Black Hat standing there, arms crossed behind his back and leaning back on his feet.

“Oh no how terrible,” he said, looking down at where a whole rack of chemicals now lay shattered on the floor. Liquids of various colors began leaking onto the metal, mingling and crawling across the floor. “Flug you should really keep your lab in proper order.”

Flug raised his hands to either side of his bag in horror, watching as two chemicals met and mixed and _started smoking._ Black Hat whistled, casually strolling around the puddle – which was giving off _green smoke_ now. He came over to lean over Flug's desk, eyes scanning the blueprints laid out there, now stained with coffee.

Black Hat tisked. Flug was still staring in anticipation, waiting for something to explode.

“Even this desk is a mess,” he said, turning a glare onto Flug. Flug slowly looked over to meet Black Hat's gaze, hands still raised in shock. Black Hat scowled. “Well? Clean it up!”

“But _you –_ “

“I what?” Black Hat asked, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow.

Flug made an exasperated noise, threw his hands into the air, and rushed over to assess the damage done to the floor. Yup, it was definitely starting to burn through the floor.

“And you,” he heard Black Hat snarl behind him, “You imbecilic, good for nothing, _failed_ experiment. Perhaps you _too_ should be doing your job. Dementia created a disaster in the kitchen.”

Flug began cleaning up, wincing as he heard 5.0.5. whine behind him.

“Get to work!” Black Hat shouted, and Flug watched as the bear exited the lab sullenly. He looked over to Flug, who gave him a sympathetic look and waved goodbye. The bear smiled slightly, before heading the rest of the way out.

“You don't have to be so mean to him,” Flug muttered, wiping up the last of the chemicals and giving a suspicious look to the black scorch marks that didn't seem to be coming off.

“Being 'mean,'” Black Hat said, suddenly behind Flug. “Is my job.”

Flug startled, looking up at where Black Hat was smiling menacingly. He obviously wanted Flug to cower, but he just pursed his lips and sat back on his feet.

“To the 'good guys' yeah,” he said, crossing his arms. “But you could be a little nicer to us.”

Black Hat spluttered.

“And _why_ would I do that?” He asked.

Flug sighed, shrugging and climbing to his feet.

“Right, never mind,” he said sullenly.

That seemed to be the end of it because Black Hat turned, heading back over to the desk. Flug followed, resigned, and kicked at the floor as he headed over. Black Hat was back to his normal self, standing up straight and examining Flug's desk.

“You could at least not take it out on 5.0.5. if you're mad at me,” he tried, side-eyeing Black Hat. The villain stiffened, and Flug pursed his lips as it wordlessly confirmed his suspicions.

“I'm always mad at all of you,” Black Hat countered, glaring at Flug again. “What makes you think you're so special?”

Flug almost snorted at the phrasing, catching himself just in time.

“Right, my mistake,” Flug said, nodding and averting his gaze, letting Black Hat win. “Should I explain the plans for the new device?”

Black Hat nodded and Flug got on with explaining the blueprints, but he took notice of how Black Hat still appeared to be irritated. He wracked his mind for why, Black Hat hadn't noticed he'd been late, and he had practically come in angry. The only reason he could have been mad was –

Flug paused, realization coming to him.

“React with what?” Black Hat prompted, lip twitching, when Flug failed to continue.

“ _Right_ , sorry sir,” he responded, hopping back into his explanation.

But now his mind was drifting. Did Black Hat really hate terms of endearment that much? If he did, why not forbid it like he did anything else he found distasteful.

Which meant...

Flug may live in constant anxiety, but at this moment he decided he no longer feared death.

Besides, all his coffee had spilled, so he had that excuse.

“And that's it,” he concluded. “Any questions?”

Black Hat was still examining the blueprint, nodding.

“No, that should be all,” Black Hat said at last, his eyes yet to leave the page.

“Should I get to work then, _Jefecito_?” He asked, crossing his arms behind his back and turning his head to look at the blueprints.

Black Hat bristled again, but quickly recovered. He turned his head jerkily towards Flug, who kept looking at the blueprint innocently. The dark lenses of the goggles hid his eyes, concealing the path they took to examine Black Hat's face.

“What?” Black Hat said, glaring at Flug. He practically spat the word, face pinching up again.

“I said, should I get to work then, _Jefe_?” He asked, turning his head slightly to aim the goggles at Black Hat. The other was still tense, looking at Flug suspiciously.

“Is that so,” he said slowly.

“I'm sorry, is there a problem?” Flug asked, easily projecting his usual nervousness in his voice. But no, he was sure now, Black Hat looked like he was in pain, but he was also darkening around his cheeks. Sure, it looked like his face was getting filled with ink rather than the red of blood, but Flug had never seen Black Hat _bleed_ , so he probably didn't at all, let alone have red blood.

“ _Is_ there, doctor?” Black Hat countered, staring intensely at Flug.

“You've been acting strangely – “

“Don't start with me,” Black Hat turned his head slightly and raised an eyebrow.

Flug just shrugged, smirking slightly under the bag.

“Sorry,” he said, struggling to hide the smile in his voice. “Won't happen again.”

“Good,” Black Hat responded. The two stood there in silence for a moment. Black Hat brushed down his coat, in a way Flug would peg as fidgeting, and cleared his throat when it stretched on for just a bit too long. When he didn't say anything though, Flug spoke back up.

“So...” He said, crossing his hands behind his back. “Should I get to work on it then _jef-_ ”

“Yes!” Black Hat cut in, clearing his throat again. “Yes,” he repeated, lowering his voice to a normal volume, “get started right away.”

“Right away sir-”

“And,” suddenly something sinister glinted in Black Hat's eye, and a sense of dread filled Flug, “I want it by the end of the week.”

“ _The end of the –_ that's not enough – “ Flug slumped down, already resigning himself. “Guess I just won't sleep. Again.”

“How terrible,” Black Hat replied, smirking. He tugged on his coat again in bravado, apparently having 'won' the encounter in his mind by making Flug miserable again. He didn't know why he ever even considered that Black Hat might care for once. “Chop-chop, get to work.”

“Fine _ba_ -” Flug began, rolling his eyes, before cutting himself off quickly and slapping a hand to his mouth. A blush rose to his face and he cringed. He might have been feeling a little bold, teasing Black Hat, but he was treading dangerously on going too far.

“What was that?” Black Hat asked, turning back to Flug and blinking. He had a tight smile on his face and Flug saw the tension in his shoulders again.

He really, really didn't understand his boss.

“Uhm,” he stumbled, “Fine Black Hat.”

 _“Fine?”_ Black Hat asked. He tilted his head and his smile stretched painfully tight across his face.

“Yes sir _,_ ” Flug corrected, grinning nervously and holding up his hands in front of him defensively.

Black Hat nodded and left quickly, suspiciously quickly.

Flug was so confused.

 

* * *

 

He did as instructed, and the invention was done by the end of the week. He had been waiting in his lab in the wee hours of the morning to present it, but when Black Hat had failed to show, he'd been too exhausted to care.

He'd curled up under his desk and decided to take a nap, damn the consequences.

He was getting really tired, both physically and mentally, _of_ being tired, both physically and mentally. He couldn't keep working like this, his mind was addled, and honestly he didn't even know if the invention worked. The world began blurring again, and if Black Hat had a problem, well that was a situation for future Flug to deal with.

So he passed out in less than a minute, curled up under his desk with his lap coat draped over him like a blanket.

When he woke up blearily to the feeling of being carried bridal-style through the air, his sleep-fogged brain assumed 5.0.5. was taking him to his room again. It happened. A lot.

He smiled weakly, feeling almost drunk. He snuggled further into the grasp holding him and hummed softly.

“Thanks honey,” he muttered, already falling back asleep.

When they skidded to a halt and the arms around him tightened, pulling him closer, he didn't even notice.

“Did Black Hat show up?” He asked instead, slowly remembering that he was supposed to meet his boss in the lab.

The grip stiffened again, but tensing and growing ridged instead of embracing him.

“Tell him I'll see him tomorrow,” Flug mumbled, nuzzling his face back into the other's chest and losing consciousness.

Black Hat had indeed shown up, and didn't need to wait until tomorrow to see Flug, seeing as he had been in the middle of carrying the scientist to his room when he'd decided to wake up and ruin the whole thing.

He stood there in the empty hall gritting his teeth and snarling at both nothing and everything. He glared at the empty air in front of him as Flug slipped back into sleep in his arms. He considered dropping the man right there on the floor and watching as he collided with the carpet in a heap and startled awake.

But instead he just stood there, the corner of his mouth twitching in disdain. Why did the doctor fawn over that terrible failure of an experiment anyway? The more he thought about it the more it irritated him. Yet, acknowledging that it irritated him forced him to acknowledge _why_ it irritated him, which was unacceptable.

He looked down at where Flug had buried his face (still covered in that stupid bag) into his shirt, goggles knocked slightly askew and pulled up from where they'd gotten caught on the hem of his vest. He'd grabbed onto the edge of his coat, clutching at it, and the movement of his head against Black Hat's chest had dislodged his tie.

Black Hat felt like gagging at the sight, only because it was just too – he _did_ gag slightly as the word 'cute' passed through his mind. But that didn't hide the fact that here he was, willingly carrying this mess of a man in his arms even if he couldn't comprehend why he was doing it.

And when he'd thought that Flug had been addressing him, well, he'd felt that terrible prickling feeling again and had been ready to drop Flug and run, and just get the hell right out of there.

But he hadn't, and here they were, Black Hat still glaring in a dark hallway, still carrying Dr. Flug. He sighed, and set off again, feet tracing the path to the doctor's room.

When Flug started to mumble again, Black Hat just clenched his fists tighter around Flug and glared.

“Should really... talk to him... ask him... right sweetie?” He muttered. Black Hat's eye twitched.

“Ask him what?” Black Hat said, straining through gritted teeth.

Flug, the idiot, didn't even notice that the damn bear couldn't _talk_ and just continued.

“Bout sleepin',” Flug replied tiredly. “Taking years off my life.”

“Well then maybe you should be more efficient and you could sleep,” Black Hat replied. He stomped as he rounded another corner, getting closer to the doctor's door.

“Noo...” Flug slurred. “Can't anyway... _you know –_ bad dreams... so doesn't matter...”

Flug sighed heavily, as if _he_ were the put-upon one in this scenario.

“We're here!” Black Hat announced with fake cheer, kicking open the door. It slammed open loudly, causing Flug to startle slightly and blink his eyes open again. Black Hat marched through Flug's _horrendously_ messy room, and promptly dumped his armful of scientist right onto his bed.

Flug landed with a 'oof,' face getting buried in the cover. He didn't bother to move the rest of his body, just turned his face to pull it out of the covers and squint at Black Hat, who was looming over his bed with his arms crossed.

“Black Hat?” Flug asked, blinking slowly.

“The one and only,” he replied, grinning menacingly.

“Oh,” Flug replied, squinting even harder. He still sounded sluggish and confused.

“Was there some part of your working conditions you'd like to discuss?” Black Hat asked, still aggravated and rearing for a fight.

He prided himself on the care he took with his minions, even when mad. He hadn't broken a single bone of Flug's the whole way over, not even accidentally. But he was still eager for a verbal spar to work off his irritation.

Flug just stared at him for a second, before letting his head drop to the side and rest on his bed. Black Hat glared harder as he realized the other was grinning.

“You listened,” he mumbled.

“Yes, I listened to your inane ramblings, now do you have a _problem_ with – “

“Noo,” Flug slurred. “Before that.”

Now it was Black Hat's turn to squint in confusion. “What?”

“You're being _nice_ ,” Flug sighed, eyes sliding shut briefly.

“ _Am not!_ ” Black Hat shot back childishly, bristling and reeling back.

“Are too,” Flug replied, before lowering his voice and whispering. “I knew it.”

“Knew _what_?” Now Black Hat was back to being aggravated, tense. He clenched his fists and stood alert.

“Nothin',” Flug murmured.

“Oh no, please continue,” Black Hat said, eye twitching.

“Dun worry,” Flug replied, and Black Hat could tell he was slipping back to sleep.

He leaned over the man, grabbing his shoulder and shaking slightly. “Oh no, we are not – “

“Oh right, sorry,” Flug muttered, eyes cracking open for a second. “Forgot. Thank _you_ ,” he almost sang the word. “Goodnight love.”

Black Hat froze again, and before he knew it he heard the gentle breathing of Flug settling over the room. He watched, wide-eyed as the last of the energy left Flug's body until he was well and truly out of it. Something felt caught in his throat, and he just stood there a moment, watching as the doctor slept.

He grimaced as he realized his hand was still gripping Flug's arm. He pulled it back quickly, holding it defensively to his chest like he'd been burned.

He stood there for another moment, and he felt himself fidget, before turning and leaving the room.

If he closed the door softly, it was simply because he was was thinking of a scheme for revenge, not because of consideration for the doctor.

 

* * *

 

When Flug jerked awake the next morning, it was with the realization that he was supposed to be in the lab demonstrating his invention to Black Hat. His immediate anxiety stemmed from the fact that he was not, in fact, in the lab demonstrating his invention to Black Hat.

It was only after he shot to his feet and stumbled out the door that the second realization slammed into him and reminded him of the blurry events of last night. Then, his anxiety quickly switched to _that_.

He ran, full speed, down to the lab, crashing through the doorway, to find Black Hat already standing at his desk looking over the invention.

“Oh no,” he said before he could stop himself. He dug his heels into the floor to stop his forward momentum.

Black Hat perked, turning his head slowly to look at Flug.

“I – uh, sir, I'm sorry I – “

“Good work Flug,” Black Hat cut in, freezing Flug in his tracks.

“I – good work?” He asked, eyes darting from Black Hat to the invention in his hands.

“Yes, I'll go record now,” Black Hat replied, already strolling out of the room.

“Don't you need me to... explain...?” Flug watched in confusion as Black Hat just grinned.

“I figured it out,” he replied as he drew equal to Flug, who still hovered near the door.

“Oh... okay,” Flug tensed as Black Hat paused, looking at him. “Uhm, should I start working on the next project?”

“Why don't you get some more rest?” Black Hat responded instead, causing Flug to actually double-take.

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded.

Black Hat grinned in a way that was a little too devious. It didn't inspire a good calm sleep at all.

“I've figured it out, and you said you need more sleep, didn't you?” Black Hat asked.

Oh, so they were talking about that.

Flug blushed, heat getting trapped inside the bag.

“Well, yes,” he replied, wringing his hands. This had to be a trick somehow, but he couldn't work out just what Black Hat's angle was.

“Then go back to bed doctor,” Black Hat said. He reached over with the hand that wasn't holding the invention and gripped Flug's shoulder. He jerked, but the firm grip on him prevented him from jumping.

“Uhh...” He replied. Eloquent.

Black Hat's grin widened, and his eye crinkled in anticipation.

“I'll see you at dinner _dear_ ,” he said, giving Flug's shoulder a harsh squeeze, before suddenly turning and leaving.

Flug actually coughed. His blush spread down his neck as he spluttered, watching wide-eyed as Black Hat's coat-tails disappeared through the doorway.

He stood alone in the lab for a moment, brain desperately trying to keep pace. He bit his lip, nervous. This nervousness was different than the normal icy fear though. No, it was accompanied by a fierce blush and a stutter of his heart instead.

He felt like he'd started something dangerous, but he didn't necessarily regret it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Black Hat: Haha did you see the look on his face, what good payback. That'll teach him.  
> Also Black Hat: Wait why am I blushing?
> 
> Thanks for reading! As always, let me know what you think!
> 
> My tumblr is jadetigress.tumblr.com, and (if you liked this) consider it a thanks for 200+ followers!


End file.
